comfort zone

saw a friend post bout her childhood as a teacher's daughter in FB... really reminded me of my own version... neh~ i wont tell a story bout it here...

what I wish to share is that, im proud to say im given chance to enjoy and experience more compared to friends at my age... even now, at my age of 27, i already need to face that at least 4 of my friends went to meet God d... sigh~ life really fragile... so this had make me decide to try more new things (no, im not adventurous... just wan try things outside the box)..

he always tell me not to rely on other people emotionally and physically... but sometimes, im really so weak and only wish for a shoulder to lay on~thats why... my final dream is just as simple as - have a super simple life, as long im with the one i love, and of coz he must love me as well... :D no need to save the world... just spend time with each other, shopping, traveling, do gym together... reading together... cook for him, and seeing him enjoy (or pretend to enjoy) the food i cook for him... then when midnight i open my eye, i can see him is still beside me...

but sometimes, simple things is the most difficult things to get as well~

Malaysia politics' schema

who doesnt proud to be Malaysian? I am, honestly... Malaysia is a country that is rich with nature, culture and peace... the citizens here have high tolerance level (which country have nearly 30 or more ethnic living together without fighting? ) specially in Sarawak... we respect each others religions (not to those idiot who critic people religions - yes i don mean those that thought themselves super holistic while other people's religions is superstitious) ,ethic and race...

but the things that i am ashamed of being part of malaysia is when people start to mention about our politics, corruptions and the attitude (not all but most).

recently it is election season... everyone know that the certain "parties" will eventually start to bribe us differently in order to get the vote... one of the obvious definately is repairing the road... which is so rubbish for me as they just pour and cover the damage with a new layer or tar... after a month (not even after the election) ta da... the road's "pimple scar" grown back... come on... malaysia is famous with their pimple scar road condition d... can just at least prepare better road for the driver? or is this strategy to boost  up the mechanic business? hmm... maybe hor~

ok... it is normal for the politicians organize campaign, talk to have better vote... but can please learn from develop countries' leader? tell us your plan in helping the citizens, tell us your plan to improve, share with us your vision and mission~! instead, they are pointing fingers in criticizing their competitors, how they din do their work properly (and did you do your part from the beginning?) spread their scandals matter, sex scandals ( i doubt you are clean as well anyway)... maybe is my family culture in learning, we were thought not to bother people matter, not to judge people and not to point finger to others, just do your part, and be honest and sincere...

i also wonder, how much will it cost to do a flag? i saw it along all the road... first- it is annoying~!!!!! because im looking at my money, people's tax hanging around~!!!!!! shit~! and second - it is dangerous for drivers~!!! we cant see the road ok~!!!! ish~!!!

i honestly feel sad when i see all those post in FB, news, and pamphlet... why must lie? we are no longer those generations where we listen and we believe... can please stop think of yourselves? earning "extra" is no longer a secret... it is an open secret... we just hope that you will at least do something while enjoying the "benefit" is that too much? sigh~ oh well... human... lets see whats the result next week :)

hmm... will i get trouble posting this in my blog? oh well~ im just a citizen that wish voice out my opinion.. hahaha...

The Croods

watch this anime with sis~ super like~ this a very heart warming, sweet and simple movie~ definitely stress free movie~ ^^ to be frank, when im still little girl (around age of 9) i wish live in such simple life... ya~ i know im weird... i even ask my dad if we can move to stay in cave... and my dad allow me do so, by asking me lock my self in room >.<

its about a family with a super protective dad... bla bla bla... go watch it please~ hahahahaha

a very touching movie, causing me shed alot of tears.. and distract my sis from watching it because she looking at me crying instead (and she wonder why she dint feel a thing... me got prob or her.. wondering as well)

the father in the movie sound just like my dad, sporting yet very protective... and the guy in the movie also does sound like the guy i like, a guy that have dream, protective as well in his way and definitely ahem... hehehe

most touching part, there are no animals left behind in the end of the story~ haha~ and i like the "Belt" most~ he is too smart than his owner! muahahah...

suitable for any age audiences~ hehehe~

Johor trip

went to Johor for conference, in the same time go visit my sis~ hehe...

WAhaha... all this while i go jb to meet my sis and him (before he left msia :P) however, last week, i've been given opportunity to be one of the participant in a conference organised by UTM. As UTM is far...far... from my sis house, and plus it is sponsored trip, so i able to enjoy stay in hotel~ even though it wasnt 5 stars hotel... i manage book a nice boutique hotel - Jhotel, located near sutera mall~

super convenient as that place was surrounded by lots of shops, and coffee shop.. and most important... i enjoy the stay in the hotel~ it is just simple, nice and most important CLEAN~!!!!

here are some of the pic i manage to take~ :D

the bed~ queen size~

 the most important place - washroom

 little space for cloths and table- no fridge

 the lobby

so after all... i do enjoy the stay...

so as usual.. after that, for sure i meet up with sis and do the usual thing - HUNT FOR FOODS... HAHAHAHA

this is my fav - CREPE CAKE~~~~ yes, eventhough kch have it as well.. but the taste just so different...

 then my sis bring me to a exp cafe for breakie...

 this little thing cost RM6~!!!! not worth~!

 then we went to japanese restaurant~
salmon porridge

 taufu~ not worth the price as well

 bit like our local wo die~ still ok

so last but not least... i become round when return kch... hahahahaha

yeah~ i love travel~ hahaha... wish one day i can effort travel further place.. perhaps oversea? :D

all coming back to me

ever have the feeling when all the old memories that supposed to be put behind the brain suddenly pop and rush to the front... and lots flash back till tears flowing?? sigh~ today it happens again... i blame on my buddy who ask me read long long chinese sweet article...

all these done by him before... he once put me as the top in his life, he make me his everything by giving me his everything...

my lips allergy to crab shell... thats why most of the time i don really eat it in public in order not to scared people with my sausage lips... sound disgusting... but he always use hand and peel the meat for me~ (ya, i know, his hand is full of his saliva because he use hand enjoy the crab)

he always hug me and push me to his armpit~ hahaha~ ya.. thats how we play with each other... he is strong man... if he really use his energy i think long time ago i haveg my armpit facial treatment d... but we usually end up wrestle and laugh out loud~

he always wish be gentleman... wan to hold umbrella... but most of the time... both of us end up wet as well... >.<

it is sweet to remember all this... but it is pain because it was too sweet and its gone d~

sigh~ so below are the article that caused all this : )

有人说，谈恋爱的时候男友对女友的疼爱程度会随着结婚慢慢减少，到底这是不是事实呢？看看下面这些，是一个女孩儿写的婚后感言，写的真的很真实，看完我失眠了！

1、一夜，睡在老公身边，香香地做着美梦。老公不知怎了，“呼”地一下坐起来，我立刻被他吓醒，还没来得及问他怎么了，被窝里便伸过一双手来，摸到我还在，他便长长呼了一口气，重新躺倒，很快又听到鼾声。我在这个男人身边待了12年，很多事情都顺理成章地成了左手牵右手的平淡.那些最初的小感情、小悸动和小情绪，我们很久都没有了。这一夜屋外飘着薄凉的春雨、屋内暖暖的夜晚，忽然地，便想起了他很多很多的好。结婚10年，再相爱，激情和感动也被时间磨得体无完肤，但这一刻我忽然觉得，他比想象中爱我。
...
　　

　　2、一入冬，我便总是手脚冰凉，他晚上的习惯性动作便是把我的手放到他的腋窝下，整个人像个肉团一样被他搂在怀里。怕冰到他，我便会很不情愿地待一会儿，想趁他不注意再悄悄地抽出来。他发觉了，每次都是再霸道地夹紧，不容拒绝的力气和温暖。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　3、每次出门游玩，人多的时候，他总会把我圈在他身边，胳膊始终是半张的姿势，以确保身边的人不会挤到我。有了儿子后，右臂里是我，左臂会把儿子抱在胸前，有他在，在任何地方都会觉得安稳与妥帖。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　4、有次他出差，晚上给我打电话，一直说了一两个小时，琐琐碎碎，第一次觉得他好唠叨。回来后才告诉我，同住的人打电话知道家里天气不好，打雷打得厉害，他担心我会害怕，于是打电话陪我说话，转移我的注意力。问他，为什么不直接告诉我别害怕。他说，要是本来没害怕，这一问反倒害怕了呢？我的心里软得像一汪水，要怎样的爱，才能做得这样周全与细腻。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　5、锅碗瓢盆的日子，总会有架吵。每次吵架，只要到白热化的程度，他都第一时间跑到门口，占据位置，以确保我不会气急败坏地跑出家门。吵得最厉害的一次，我口不择言，自己都觉得狠狠地伤了他的心。他搬着自己的枕头跑去客厅睡，我正纠结着要怎么去道歉，他却跑回来，表情还是恨恨的，人却睡在我身边。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　6、这样的情感，总让我们不习惯太长时间的分离。他出差，原本是一周的时间，第五天便处理完事情早早跑回家来。敲门声再熟悉不过，我激动地打开门，挨了他劈头盖脸的一顿训：“也不问问是谁就开门，万一是坏人呢。”我撅着嘴巴满心的委屈。再看他拉得像长白山一样的脸，真恨不得揍他一顿。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　7、最近，最热衷的事情就是问他，是不是还如当初那么爱我？他大多时候都给个睥睨的眼神，心情好时才会赏一句“你说呢？”于是总感叹岁月的无情、围城的磨砺，偶尔会怀念恋爱时的卿卿我我，却忘了他给过的这么多好。忘记了他每次出差早上7点准时发来的起床短信，忘记他每次有事送我上出租车时，总会第一时间记住车号，忘记我剐蹭了车，粗心大意做错了事，他问的第一句话总是“你有没有伤到”……那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　8、就是刚刚，我在写这篇文章，他窝在沙发上看电视，嗑瓜子。十几分钟的时间，他把手摊过来，手心里都是剥好的瓜子肉，我感动地看他，那边还是一脸不耐烦，嫌我接瓜子的速度慢。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　9、想起来这么多年，无论是日子艰难的最初还是稍稍宽裕的现在，我喜欢的东西，他都是想了办法买给我，从来没有一次不舍得。其实用钱衡量这样的感情很俗，但是很真实。我把这个感慨向身边的男人大发了一通，对方直视着我的眼睛，说：“你又想要什么了，直说吧。”这一刻我仍然觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

编后语：看着这篇文章，心里的羡慕与向往隐藏不住……其实,一个女人想要的也就是这样了吧！不图荣华富贵，不图安逸享乐,只愿身边的那个人可以这样,细微却真心的,无私又真诚的呵护着我,珍惜着我，一起面对困难又如何一起经历困苦又如何,只要你给了我这个信心让我相信可以去依靠一辈子,我又还会怕什么呢！
 

Money

Money is everything...

it is an angel
it is also a devil

when you have money,
- you can enjoy better life
- you can do charity and help more people
- you can have better options
- you dont have to worry much
- you can go every where you want
- you have lots similar friends
- you can eat whatever you like
- people around you also can enjoy all the things you enjoy above

when you have no money
- you know how to be independent
- you will know who is your real friend (and you shall appreciate such friend~!)
- you will understand what is true love (family, friends, and lover)
- you will be more appreciative
- you will always show gratitude
- you will give more (people always say, people who give more is because they know how it feel of having nothing)
- you will enjoy things that money cant buy - love specially
- you will be creative and always seek for alternatives (specially people who need cook under budget)

whether its an angel or devil, the decisions always on our hand :D

Permission

did you ever experience the feel, when you like someone, whatever they say, ask or do you will also support and will always entertain them?

oppositely, when you dislike someone, everything they do it is just so
ANNOYING~!!!!!!! and will keep wondering why they do this and that...

whereas it is actually the same thing~ hahaha...

for me, this is how we judge a person, and give them permission be silly or be distance with us...

a little story that i heard few times...

a friend came to our house (not so familiar one), sit on our sofa, complain the sofa too dark shall change to brighter colour, ( we start feel annoyed, because that person doubt our taste), then the friend continue walk to our room, say the position of the bed not good, will cause accident (!@#$, we like then good la) lastly, say the house paint colour so ugly and shall repaint (we kick that friend out d because we think he/ she cross the line d)

similar case, we spend RM3000 to a feng shui master because we heard about him from lots tv show... he enter the house with a compass on hand... hmm, sofa too dark, not good not good (we nod, and say true true, must change), then to the bedroom, he continue, the bed position no good, bad for person sleep on it must change to face the north (we start to think, no wonder recently feel no so well, hmm...) then he look around and say, your option or paint colour really not good and terrible shall paint to green (hmm, true true, green is nature = everything is natural...) then we paid that person, do whatever thing he ask us to do and feel so happy and glad that he came over..

so, it is obviously the trust we give, and the permission we gave to someone that allow us to follow, and support whatever thing they mention... after all, we just human... we have feelings and love to do judgement... hahaha...

GRumpy day

OMG~!!!! why test my patient???? goodness~!!!!!

i am kuching lang~ im proud to tell everyone, yes im from kuching... BUT~~~~~ i really don have kuching ppl's patient... below are the few scenario that made me curse...

1. PLEASE DONT WALK AND STOP HALF WAY SPECIALLY IN MALL
- all these people are just so cute.. yes, it will cause accident k??? specially for people like me who walk very fast... sigh~ those people can just walk then suddenly stop either to chat, to see things around and sometimes i have no idea what they are thinking as well... stand at a side la to do all these things~!!!!!!!!

2. PLEASE LOOK LEFT, RIGHT AND BEHIND BEFORE DRIVE
- a SMART lady can just reverse her car without looking behind... and i already horn her to tell her "HALO~!!!! IM BEHIND YOU~!!!!" and she can still reverse till i need drive to side in order to avoid my car kissed by her stupid cat butt~! as usual la... with my temper, i drive to her side and show my hand (not middle finger, don worry) yet she dont dare look at me~ (am i too samseng?? >.<)

3. PLEASE TRAIN YOUR STAFF~!!!!
-i seriously cant stand those staff in shopping mall and supermarket~! please la~! provide good customer service if you want earn our money~! whenever i ask them for information, all i get is "sik tau la" (dont know)~ then what the hell are you doing there???? looking for solution to please me the customer la~!!! aiyoyoy~!!! some even worst, if dont know, dont give stupid opinion, worst is u can ask others la~!!!!!! exp that directly pissed me off - i want buy running shoe, i already mention i want "running shoe" not cross train etc... and the sales person dare to tell me "all shoes are the same, just design diffrerent" GOODNESS~!!! can please make effort read the shoe label??? you thought the company put the label to make it more complicated????? >.<

4.  PLEASE DONT STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD FOR CHATTING
- come one la dude, i know sometimes we might bump to person that we had long lost contact~ but please la~!!! YOU DON OWN THE ROAD~! each time i need to say "excuse me" worst, they saw me walking and obviously i need pass by, and yet..... perhaps they think im so slim that i can pass through~! sigh

5. PLEASE CONCENTRATE AND WALK, IF NOT PLEASE WALK AT SIDE
- i have phone as well, i play FB and do SMS as well~!!! but when i know i will walk slower i will walk at the side~! not in the middle of the road ~~~!!!! i need make some noise "ahem" or walk louder (when im in my high heel) and YET THEY NEVER NOTICE~!!!!!!! then when they notice they have the look at me "you so annoying, cant you see im playing my phone"

GRRRR~!!!! is it me or what???? sigh~!!!!!

Dreams

there are various type of dream- sweet dream, day dream, wet dream,life dream... etc

since im little girl i love to dream, from day dream to night dream... hehe... most of the time my creativity are actually come from my dream... for me, dream land is the best place, no one can judge you and no one can give a guideline of what is dream... of course as long we able pull ourselves back to real world when awake...

usually i like my sweet wet dream (must EMPHASIZE not the 18sx wet dream k) as it always bring me meet my prince charming... hahaha... normally when awake i wish i can continue sleep again so that i can meet him longer~ hahahaha... *slurp.. and this type of dream normally just will make my day and keep me smiling whole day~ muahahaha

i think sometimes my dream are so real.. example, recently my friend getting married soon, she is someone that are very fussy (not even sure im lucky or what been selected as her bridesmaid :P) so a bit stress as im out of idea d.. until i sleep also can get idea... lucky enough she accept it~ but still have long list to go.. and it seems that my dream doesnt want to involve in this wedding game anymore ~sad~

in school day, i always share my dream with my close friend... this become our routine topic, because most of my dream are so ermm... i call it as inspiration la k.. ahaha... and this help me become a good story teller as well... but... the funny thing is, why some of my friend never remember or have dream? hmm...

Concern VS busybody

most of the time, we tend to give people privacy and sometimes we instead cross their privacy line... recently i notice, im actually not a very nice friend... i dont really bother what they do and what is their current situation unless they keep telling the world through facebook... in apposite way, sometimes i cross my line in caring and update my self towards "certain" person latest update~ perhaps this is the choice we made... we can choose not to bother... or we can choose to cant not bother

i seriously don like ask around people stuff... i believe everything they do must have their own reaon (whether i can accept or not another story la)... i used to apply same thing to someone... i remember that someone complain im not concerning enough... then i change and be more concern... up to date in everything that person do... then end up that person complain i make that person cant breath... sigh~ so i think im just not the type of person know what is so called "border" lines... hahaha

when we care about someone... even other person tell us its not worth or we shouldnt do so to avoid getting hurt... we will still do it... why? in philosophically, we call this "they are part of our life" in human words - WE ARE STUPID~!!!!

hahaha... ok.. so i think i shall try control myself of over caring as well over not bother~ hahaha... ouch~ life

Stress

within these two months, after so long, i feel quite stress, keep pushing myself to the max... i must grad before july, if possible send a copy of my thesis to Mybrain, earn the 3k.. even though this is my second year of master, honestly, i feel that i just started~ what am i doing for the past year??? hahaha... anyways, hope i wasnt too late.. after grad, plan leave Msia, move to some place new... Aus? Singapore? Denmark? wondering still...

looking for info... hope get something.. suddenly pushing myself so much~ lost 2kgs, hahaha... its been awhile i never been stress d... hahahaha... perhaps its good also... distract me off from emotional worries~

hmm~ fighting~!!!! must finish my work~! AJA AJA~!!!!!

Volunteer

today went to SSPCA(Sarawak Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) be a volunteer... ya~ i go because i had promise the manager i will go at least once before he leave... i owez try my best keep my promises. :D 

not as what most of us think.. go there play with dogs and cats then bye bye..

went there early in the morning and im late because unable wake on time haha...reach there around 830am with my buddy - Stella... the task of the day? clean the shit~ hahaha... yes.. clean the shit... poo.. dung... what ever you want to call it... 

using a pipe splashing and cleaning cage by cage... while Stella will sweep of the floor... others busy changing the newspaper, refill the food and drinks... while the manager is in the clinic helping those in chronic conditions little one... it seems easy, but honestly it wasnt easy at all.. specially emotionally.. i honestly admit, i cant stand the job at all... just a few hours, heart ache... how can people harm those innocent cats? some is one side blinded because people dig out it's eye, some leg cant function because accident, worst, stupid people use rubber band tie it up and cause the blood stream block... etc... 

for those who always complain SSPCA staffs being grumpy and rude, please go SSPCA be a volunteer for at least a day~ try to live in their situation at least once~ then will understand why they being rude specially when people sending their old pets for abundance~ step into their shoe before speak~ i think that is most useful sometimes~ hmm

i always tell people i prefer help animals instead people... main reason is animals never HARM human... most of the time they attack for the sake of protecting themselves... for those cases where the dogs bite... did they ever mention how they treated the dogs since little? animals always innocent... if they gone crazy, most of the time is due to long term mental abuse... just like the case in west malaysia where 7 dogs eaten their owner... the actual reason is because the stupid owner had lock them up and dint provide any foods for a week.. if human, i think we also will eat that person for the sake to survive...

please protect the animals~ their life spam definitely shorter than us, but their needs towards love will never less than us~ give them love, they will give you their all~  you can have lots of pets in your lifetime... but they only wish have you alone as owner in their life time~

spouse

ok~ i believe lots of ladies will wish kill me after read this~ please dont mind bout it~ it's just my 2 cent after watch the china show last nite (end up they break up la)

whenever listen to some ladies mention bout their "perfect" partner make me feel bit unrealistic~

perhaps my dad educate me bout "sharing". there are some women just not making sense, her money always is money but the guy's money must spend all the things she want.. halo~! if the guy earn 1k, he willing spend 800 on u, i think should so touching d... in nowadays life, with all the economy burden, how can he survive 200? sigh~

cant deny, we always wish that we can have better life by having house, nice car, etc... but if love each other, i think being together is more important.. then can plan together and share dreams together instead pushing him to buy all the things the girl dream of... this call materialistic...

is it me or what? sigh~ i prefer normal life... hahaha... that girl in the show, must have all the meal at restaurant... lowest requirement? must have aircond... i prefer home cook~ muahahaha... coz when u cook for someone you love, it feels so great looking at him enjoy the meal you cook (eventhough you dint cook well and he might suffering in silent~ muahahaha)..  and it will be cheaper... then use those extra money as saving for other things such as vacation~ isnt that nice? hhahaha...

anyways... it is just a show... not even sure if its true~ hmph...

powerful "a"

a voice, a word, a look - even though it is just "a", but it is very powerful... when im down, his "a" message, "a" call always can calm me down... i know it is bit illusion, but i really wish this can last.. sometimes, when someone is down all they need is just "an" ear to listen... when people are sick, they only need someone to give "a" concern... when im with him... we don talk whole nite, he do his thing, i do mine... but when i turn my head around, i just like to feel that "a" person - him is there with me... funny but that feels just so comfortable... it feels great when there is "a" person always be by urside... just that i dont like it if that "a" is just for "a"while and not for ever lasting... :'( because it will end up become "a" nightmare in future~

so im thankful... for that "a" that he always gives to me~ :D

Grumpy day

today im in grumpy mode~ i need to open an RHB account as required by my uni... ok lo~ when i reach there im quite glad that there are not much customer around... ops~ i talk too fast, eventhough there are not much customer - less than 10, they made me waited for an hour to finish the whole process~!

normally i don mind to wait~ not sure why, today mood super not good~ i blame on weather~ haha...

honestly, i think weather really have impact in influencing a person mood... if its a nice gloomy weather, when we enter air cond room, we will feel yeah~ even after long wait, we enter the car, we also will feel nice... compared to hot weather... first we ah~ in the air cond room, then when we came out from the room, we will automatically have smaller eye (too bright ma) which also mean we "close" our heart smaller d... ok then step into the car... we feel annoyed~ reason? we start to sweat, start feel sticky... worst some may even start to smell~! (im not la :P ) so after all the process... the sun very bright and "hit" our skin ( nowadays sunlight really to strong and its really painful when under the sun k~!)

so how not a weather influence our mood????

grr~ miao~

now im cool~ coz im in air cond room~ muahahahha