pondering

Ever since I return from penang 2 years ago, it's seems like I never really settle down. .. I'm still floating around to find a door get out from it... bit tired. .. I also closed up quite a few doors... me myself also not sure what am I waiting or expecting. .. feel so lost... I putting blame on my master... saying want complete it so I want it be in full time... another side of me actually don't dare commit anything. .. because I'm so afraid that once I committed if one day I was ask to leave those again to another environment. ... I am a lazy person. .. mentally not that tough... sigh... but when I see few quotes from the legendary Nelson Mandela. .. I really feel so ashame... of all the excuses.. The main problem with me now is I'm not enthusiastic or passionate enough in what ever I'm doing now... perhaps I should not think too much d... and just put my 101% in anything I do...