good bye 2013

its the time again... hahaha... but this time im not going to write any revolutions~ instead this year i plan to set goals~ hehehe...

in 2013... im in total floating situation... change jobs more than change cloths... super emotional... lazy...
but despite all that, i also proceed well in my master (pity my supervisor actually...hahahhaa)... i consistently do yoga~ and i even set up an online business (still slow la) - JasCraft...

so what's next? undeniable... another 2 years i head to 30 d.... so i must and i want to achieve something... at least physically obvious type... hmm

Personal
~ still never let go of wishing my prince charming appear... (even though not sure he stuck at which tree now~ cham~ borneo got lots tree somemore) while waiting him... will get ready be a great person that worth everything~ ^^
~ groom well... as i learn people are realistic~ they love what they like to see... even though people always say never judge a book from it's cover (ya right...)
~ do more yoga~ improve my flexibility and pose well~ for better looking body also better health
~ learn cook~ tentative plan is cook dinner once a week... as practice make perfect
~ determined and maintain have vegetarian day on each lunar calendar 1st & 15th day (can benefit my health too)
~ curse less, complain less, compare less, and not least gossip less
~ not letting people control my emotions... oummmmm......

Business - JasCraft
~ currently still less than 200 likes.. so target have 500 likes at first quater... and by end of the year 1000 likes
~ organize more event or promotions in order to promote my page
~ join more bazaar
~ improve own creativity for more options~

Study - Master
~ january finish key in all the questionnaire
~ Feb write up
~ March submit
~ October ~november - Attend my graduation ceremony

Carrier
~ get into MNC
~ be loyal to one company at least 2 years

Finance
~ start saving...
~ 20% saving,
~10% invest
~ 10% Charity
~ Settle credit card debt
~  anyone have suggestion? please give me advise as im SUper Duper lousy in managing own finance

oh yeah~!!! must achieve all these goals~ then end of 2014 i can shout "GOALSSSS"... oh ya~ next year world cup... (i know its out of topic)

Happy new year everyone~!!

love is in the air

Whenever reach end of the Year. .. Red booms flying every where...undeniable.. This make me start imaging d... specially I'm too free recently. ..

I also wish to have a sweet loving and yet simple wedding...
As usual... morning the Chinese n western ceremony... hmm... what games shall I set for him... I want him sing for me... not over type of song... something meaningful n sweet type...

then Chinese tea ceremony is a must for me...

ok... night time... Western style perhaps. . Then both our parents don't have to stand whole night and legs sore... er. ... what else... oh ya!!
enter to the wedding hall as a queen protected by a charming king

Hmm... I want my hair set like a princess... and wearing white gown... Kiki

Then my wedding want to have love band... singing all those special song me n him... (I also have found out what song. .. oh my! Imagine if our special song is rockers song =.= )
Then want video cam the whole ceremony. ...

Wakakaka. .. ok... I shall start imagine my future husband instead now... kikikiki (do mind me... This is the result of watching and attending too many weddings this year... and I'm too free... ^×^)

pondering

Ever since I return from penang 2 years ago, it's seems like I never really settle down. .. I'm still floating around to find a door get out from it... bit tired. .. I also closed up quite a few doors... me myself also not sure what am I waiting or expecting. .. feel so lost... I putting blame on my master... saying want complete it so I want it be in full time... another side of me actually don't dare commit anything. .. because I'm so afraid that once I committed if one day I was ask to leave those again to another environment. ... I am a lazy person. .. mentally not that tough... sigh... but when I see few quotes from the legendary Nelson Mandela. .. I really feel so ashame... of all the excuses.. The main problem with me now is I'm not enthusiastic or passionate enough in what ever I'm doing now... perhaps I should not think too much d... and just put my 101% in anything I do...

Once awhile

Another month it's end of year 2013... somehow I feel that this year the times pass super fast... speedy mode? This year my carrier not so stable.   I change job more than I bought new dress... sigh....
During this unemployed moment lots things run into my mind. ..

Once awhile we shall spend more time on ourselves... I notice I actually still got lots things to do even though I'm actually categorises under 'very free' group now

Once a while shall let ourselves not enough money then we will get creative. .. previously when my wallet still quite convenient... my solutions for most things are 'go xx buy la'... but now.. since I have no stable income. .. I need to find best n most economy solutions for everything. .. surprisingly. .  Recycle can help us be creative and make our things look unique as well... hehe

Once awhile be nothing ... then we know who actually understand us and support our decisions. .. not everyone can support my decisions in being into current situations. .. Some even say I'm lazy and selfish and try avoid my responsibility. .. kinda sad when heard this. .. but as long I know what I'm doing.. I think I will hold still on it...

Once awhile do some charity. .. This what I wish I can do each year actually. .. act of kindness... few days ago I saved a kitten from drain together with my best friend. .. today knowing it be adopted really craft a smile on my face... hmm... its the kitten's karma as well actually    haha... n today able raise rm506 to SSPCA also is another some achievement I gain this year. . Hehe. .

After all. .. I'm lucky to have lots friends and family who always be by my side n always support me... hehe. ..

relationship

Read an article bout bird vs relationship. .. here to share with you guys. ..

When we see a bird fly into our palm... We feel excited and wish it won't fly off... at first we take care of it carefully as it is very precious to us... slowly.. times pass... The bird plan make little movement as it feel bored in same place for too long. .. but we are so scared it fly off n never return so we grab it tighter... Some may let it fly off by trusting it will come back to the palm again... Some may continue grab it tighter each time. .. till end of the day the bird die in the palm...

Undeniable... I'm the one grabbing it too hard till it die... sometimes I wonder. .. will the bird return if I dint grab it? Grabbing my hand all this while frankly speaking it feels so tired... but in another way round. .. In Chinese saying.. If it yours it will return ... If not... no matter how hard u grab... It will also fly away... trying to overcome this inner fear... give the future him more trust... and hopefully one day the bird will stay

simplicity

It's been awhile din online post blog... today while watch China channel. .. notice that my life suddenly become complicated d... hmm... All this while I always emphasise I wish only simplicity. .. seems that it bit difficult to achieve d... perhaps it's was due to the environment etc... oh well... recently just resign. .. suddenly have burden financially. .. unavoidable one k... need pay petrol etc... sigh. . I remember once I have no such burden. . But now. .. sigh... but at least recently due to my current unemployed status.. I get the chance do something I'd wishing for all this while.... sewing... haha.. somehow. .. For me... I wish get simple life that I wished for all this while ..

East meet West

wonder if i ever post about this... if yes mean im old d~ if not then i post it now haha..

few days ago chat with my friend, discuss about educating kids...oh ya, she is a school teacher..

I refuse to teach for a reason - i have no patient and im short temper..

ya, when student respect us, and obedient, we are proud... meaning to say we have some position in their heart... but way that i teach are typical Asian style - scold, punish and sometimes cane... frankly speaking, i feel guilty whenever i do so, 1st~! they are not my children... i actually have no right do so... 2nd~! for me it will actually give negative impact to the students... and not least... this practice will be continuously repeated from one generations to another...

whenever i read or see the western parents teach their kids, im IMPRESSED~! they never shout, or cane... they always keep calm (even when the kids turn into monster roaring ) and wait till their kids to calm down, and able to listen to them... what i notice is most of them will act explain, then discuss the matter... even the kids only 5 years old... sometimes, they even negotiate with their kids so that they will behave well in future...

there are once, a friend of mine, whose sister married to Canadian... so she bring her kids to visit their aunty there.. my friend told me, their house was so silent.. the kids are not like ours.. jump up and down and running all around... they actually sit down reading... even when play they play their toys gently... so when her kids so that, automatically they behave well as well.. for once, my friend said that she can actually feel 'peaceful' time with their family~and they can really communicate well with each other even the kids do wrong...

a saying 'why we shout? because there is distance'... shall we shout our kids? hmm... something to ponder~ ^^

Korea

Return Kuching for about a month d~ now only then i post something bout my trip~ haha...

summary : i went to 3 places - Jeju island - Busan - Seoul

super enjoyable trip~ specially the nature scenery in Jeju Island and Busan~ and not least all those smart looking guys on the road~ muahahahaha (wiping saliva)

frankly speaking, if u were to ask me, below are my summaries...

i will say their skin actually just the same like ours... DRAMA LIES~!!!! the only thing make them look good is they always touch up their make up~! even guys~!!! an example is when we enter train to go busan, we- the malaysian, we take out our food and cameras... whereas for the Korean.. they will take our their face powder to touch up~ hahaha... but perhaps that's their practices...
 
as for the food... it is SUPERB~!!! that's also the reason why i gain weight when i return~ hehehehe...  when we enter any coffee shop, first thing they serve will be water~! haha... FOC sommore.. unlike malaysia, plain water also can cost RM0.50~! hmph~ but sad to say, i cant get normal coffee in their shop as well... sigh~ bit costly for the food, minimum 6000 won (RM18)... but for me it worth the price... come on.. one main dish with at least 3 sides dishes.. and the side dishes can refill one somemore.. hahaha

Scenery is something i enjoy most~! seriously~!!!! no pollution k~! even my nose Sxxx also not black... hahaha... but the sun is so strong yet the wind is super cold.. hahaha... end up.. i get sunburn~ sigh ...maybe is the season then i went to... instead getting fairer.. i end up get sun burn~ haha~ so dont expect be fair from Korea.. ^^

shopping~ oh yeah~ definitely is the cosmetics products.. super cheap.. hahahhaa.. actually is not which brand better... for me, it is which shop give more sample~ muahaha... some can actually give sample as if it was charity days... yet~ when i reach kuching.. after give a b c d... i only have 3 pieces for myself~ sad~ dint buy anything else... and the luggage already reach 40KG hahahah...

accommodation - im lucky enough to have a friend who can read and speak well korean (eventhough she learn it from drama, oh well~ she is smart)..so we able to enjoy great place to stay... and great place to visit... and etc...

so overall~ I MISS KOREA~ hahahaha... definitely will go again one day (after i settle my bill :( )
the overall expenses - RM10k (include meal, place to stay, air ticket)
 

Weather

weather change again... hazy by morning, afternoon super hot... then aroun 4pm~5pm suddenly thunderstorm and rain heavily~ that's why i always claim that weather must be women~ :D

recently im in this more as well... morning weak (specially before have my cup of coffee), afternoon energetic, then evening lazy mode... night... emo mode...

as usual the victim always him~ hahahaha... pity him as well... but if he know me well.. he know why i still cant move on and idiotly emo... frankly... emo really tired...

really wish that one day, i able walk out from this zone... smile and forget everything...

Housewife

long time ago... i have a teacher, tell me that her dream job is - become housewife~ that time i was like...erm... ok~

but think bout it... actually it is a dream job~ loving, and challenging~  eventhough the main 'boss' main 'customer' only one person - husband, and some might have children~

maybe when reach this age... i also wish i can just be housewife, or maybe with additional online business~  haha... for the sake of helping him to reduce finance burden ok~

sweet ma right? early morning, prepare breakfast for him~ help him prepare to work~ fill water for him... prepare towel etc... then if he don mind, im also willing prepare lunch box for him, or snack~... when he is in office~ then i can do my online business... or i can spend time design and cook nice meal while waiitng him to return~ once awhile can bake...

when he reach home, make fresh juice for him~ help him massage~ then dine together~ i know i do enjoy seeing my love one enjoy the meal i cook~ haha... but it was long time ago d~ sigh... ok ok.. last and not least, small chat~ and even better if can spend some sweet times together... watch movie, readings... sometimes, with the love one beside, even if not saying anything or do anything... just simply be by each other side~ it is just so nice~ ^^

la la la ~ will this dream come true? hahahahaha

Expectation

Today a colleague from KL nicely advise me 'Jasmine, when a guy court you, if two guys court u in same time... one drive BMW, another is driving Saga... for sure u will choose the one drive BMW... and you also will expect more instead less~ so... (biz matter d)'

actually i disagree lo~ even though his good intention in providing such example~ sigh~ material will change from time to times... if i choose him because BMW.. then? forever i will wish for material love provided from him lo~

sigh~ not sure if that's how KL couple select their partner~ for me.. even if he ride motorbike~ i wont mind~ because moment spent together is much more valuable~ but of coz.. i wont mind work hard together with him.. eat and spend wisely through this moment~ provided he is ambitious~ hahaha... i just cant accept guy that always stuck in comfort zone >.<

hmm... am i too naive to still emphasize 'moment together is more important that materialistic love'?

Security

When i was walking to take my car and meet cust.. i saw a bunch of people surround my car... i was like "shit... someone broke my car'... but when im there... lucky enough my car was fine~ but the lady beside me in opposite situation... she got rob~ according to her, when she enter her car, she put her bag on the passenger seat... then someone open her car from another side, and take  it away... she able to grab the bag, shout and bite the robber... but she was so weak to fight him... sigh~ lucky that nth happen to her...

suddenly feel that kuching no longer as innocent as before... feel so insecure~ day time on the road where there are a lot of ppl walking around... they still dare to do so... some colleague did mention.. all these robbers are well prepared... they wont surprise they are the same snatch thieves they snatch and rob people around there... and they only aim ladies...

sigh~ even though i can be tough and independent in most time... suddenly i felt so weak... and wish there is someone there to protect me... accompany me... sigh~ suddenly .... feel so weak~

Women arent Complicated

read a few article~ suddenly feel that women always accused for being complicated~ Actually we ARE NOT complicated~ we are just too kind, too generous and too loving till the point~ we look like we are complicated

lets explore~~

during childhood, we always play around and do or say whatever we like, then parents come in say  we must share and consider people feeling... ok lo~ so we start to spread our love to ourselves, families and friends...

when enter school, teachers come in... we must concentrate on study and think for future... ok lo~ we start study hard, plan well... then teacher add on... we must be friendly... OK~!! now we spread our time again spend with friends... then parents agian add on... we are lazy, not being helpful at home~ FINE~! add in house chore~

when we become teenagers, people around start to gossip that we dont know how to take care of our own, don dress properly, dont act like ladies... etc~ ok.. so we need learn and spend some time and money on ourselves again in order to be accepted by people around us...

when we start to work~ if we are pretty, lady colleague wont be happy, they will say have look no brain, if we are smart, male colleague wont be happy, they will say - so smart for what end up also become housewife... so since we were taught to be friendly etc... fine.... we become pretty infront guy, and smart with smart people (happy?) ...

then when we have boyfriend... things change again... he want you spend time with him, his family... in same time, as woman, we never will leave our own family~ ok lo~ this the climax part (so i write specifically in one column)

start - we spend time with BF, we spend time with own friends, we spend time with own family, we spend time with his family.... then we still need spend time with work~ colleagues...

more challenging~ we clean our own dish, cloths and do own work... then clean and do own house chore (impossible we want our old parents do all those again right?)... then we help his family clean his house... as we love him... we also will help him do ironing and arrange his closet~ then if he tired, we will cook and help him massage...

some gentlemen will be understanding and help share the house chore and appreciate their women~ and this i call as MAN~!!!

another type??  the BF end up break up.. why??? ops~! we forgot ourselves~ after spend all those times on others... we neglect ourselves~! worst part is the reason of breakup = because you no longer pretty and your shape off d??? and he forgot that we actually have no time and energy for ourselves because we spend too much times on others~!

oh well~ i salute women~ specially pretty and capable mothers~! ^^ oh well~ maybe all the women past life is Octopus~! that;s why we can multitask~ muahahahaha

Changes

met one of my aunty last few weeks~ after 10 years dint meet, she actually say i dint change at all >.<

17 years old VS 27 years old no changes???? either i look matured that time, or i remain cute... LOL

this is around 3 years~ no changes meh???? >.<

Never Give up

sometimes, will start blaming around~ mumbling~ and cursing around when things doesnt turn out to be as what i wish.. but whenever this happen... i try (try only ha) take deep breath and pull my focus to other places or things...

when calm down, i will always be appreciative~ at least i will still have tomorrow for another chance~ at least i able to enjoy this failure instead of those that never had such chance~ at least i have the chance to know and study again reason i fail...

then normally i will try again in another method~ worst come to worst ma restart and start all over again~ sigh~ but at least it is never to late... instead give up~ and second time always better than the first time.. because at least i know why i fail at the first place~

as long there is another chance~ that is more than anything else~ ^^ always appreciate whatever i have now~ and be gratitude in everything with what i am going to have through my hard work and sincerity~ la la la

let's listen to this song in order to motivate ourselves again~ ^^

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-4u9W-bns

Sunglasses~

sigh~~ why why and why the customer service always so lousy~!!!!!!!

bought sunglasses from a shop.. after two months, the screw somehow "fly off" and cause the glass to be off from the frame.. i went there previously, the staff said he change to "longer" and "screwed" it properly d...

today happen again~!!!!! so i went there, those know me should know how "LONG" my temper is... i try to control my voice etc... tell the deaf lady that i demand a replacement~! this is second time it happen~! she still insist ask her colleague help repair it... fine~!! i walk around while waiting.. she even intro me the products~!! WTH~!!! cant she see that i was angry and fed up??

after her colleague done with it, he say the same thing "oh, is the screw, so i change longer one for you" WTH~!!!! the screw is longer that the actual length~! i look at it and this is the first time i said so "i want see your manager"

when the manager came out, he ok to replace new one for me but within the price~! another SMART action from that SUPER SMART GIRL~! she took few sunglasses which is more expensive~! i told her "i dont plan top up" and yet~!!! OMG~!!!! how can she be SO SMART~! end up the manager be the one to help me get new one~

sian~!!! fedup~!!! why cant they provide training for those kids?!! yes KIDS~!!!! sigh~

they are lucky today im lazy to get angry~ sigh~!!!!!!

forget him?

when i read this news~ it really hurt alot~ if i was her position, i also not sure how ca i accept the news~ im not even 1/3 as strong as her~ sigh~

 http://hollywoodlife.com/2013/07/15/cory-monteith-death-lea-michele-calling-voicemail-grieving-coping/

it's not easy to forget someone~ specially the one that you once loved so much~

life cycle

sometimes i wish i can be a goldfish~ not sure if the myth is true~ they say goldfish has only 3 min memories~ ^^ that's why it always swim around happily~ haha...

maybe i was too organized and always plan everything ahead since young.. i even plan and count how many years left i will enter secondary school (that was silly as it is a definite to enter secondary by the age 13 lo~! )... things happen too fast, now end up im lazy... people always me what is my future plan~ i tell them... enjoy my life~ :P

true what~! just like the handsome talented actor Cory, sudden death (ya, he took drugs, but i dont think he expect he will die in such a way lo)... sometimes, for those that been diagnose with cancer- even last stage, they actually at least been given some times to complete their plan, and let the people around them prepared for his leave one day~ i know... it's always easy to say then do... but sometimes, i think everyone will leave one day~ when your life chapter is complete, then it's time you bring the story to the all mighty~ :)

as for people besides them, definitely difficult for them to accept the facts, just like my grandma~ she passed away for around 10 years d.. now and then i will still suddenly wake up in the middle of the night in tears because i miss her~

sigh~ so why i want plan to achieve so high and be perfectionist? might as well i spend my time to the fullest?
some people ask me why am i so stubborn and heartless? most of the time, if i dont like a person, i rather walk away, ignore and better - i wont put her/him in my friend list~ life too short to spend time on such person that waste my time~ :P and most of the time i also lazy bother things around me~ why bother? not that everyone will listen my advise, in most time, they already have the plan, let them do their own way la~ if is fail, then they can learn from it~ if success then i will say lucky i dint say anything... hahaha...

but some how, there always someone that i cant let go~ as mentioned~! it's always easy to say and difficult to do... sigh~ perhaps everything happen for good reason~ last excuse i use in this matter is - perhaps this is what we call "fate"...

Innocent Minions

Despicable me is in the block~! haha... many people are crazy over them~ the banana trademark~ and somehow the main actor - GLu been forgotten~

i like them too~ reason is i like the characters of minion~ they are just so innocent, pure and sincere~ most of the time they will try their best to complete their tasks even though they complain as well (in their own language la) and they always enjoy every moment with their friends~ hahaha~ specially the part where they producing the jam and jelly~ just too cute~

how i wish in real life everyone just the same~ ya~ we do complain and mumbling~ but at least we be sincere and enjoy every moment as much as we can right? not to say im innocent, naive yes~ but not innocent~ i always hope that i can just be myself with everyone around me without second thought~ im a lazy person, seriously~! i don like to think before i talk or act (of coz i will censored my words not to mention and critic people sensitive point la).. i just don like pretend~ and prevent my words in order to protect myself from those people that are too smart and always have motives behind~ really super duper tiring man~!

oh well~ life~ just be me is always better than pretend to be "me" that people wished~!

July

Surprisingly~! it's July, half year had passed~! i work in PBB for nearly two month~! another 3 month my thesis deal (crossing fingers)~ another 2 months i will go korea...another 3 months i will perform belly dance infront of hundreds of audience~! another 8 months i will fly to meet someone that i miss so much~

everything seems so near~ hahaha~ busy busy busy~ yet i still lagging due to my big fat worm inside my body~ hehe... lots things to catch up~ must train my body well, eat well and think well... hehehe...

live is great when it is full of hope~ wulala

Moarning

sigh~ another handsome talented actor passed on yesterday~ I'm one of his fan after watch the famous teen drama "glee".. in real life, he also the partner of Lea Michelle who also his gf in the drama- Rachel~

they plan to tie up the knot d... yet~ fated to be a part~ Sigh~ putting myself into her shoe~ i think i will end up insane~ sigh~

thats why i try my best enjoy every moment i can with someone i love~ too bad~ not everyone will do so~

sigh~

Lazy mode

sometimes just make me wonder~ why want so rush for everything... sigh~ obviously im in the mode again... lazy mode~ sleepy... lazy move... keep wondering... some how i just wish i can no need bother so much~ enjoy anything and just everything around me~

motivation level super low~ lazy bother how people treat me~ specially that someone~ some how think what ever i did also wrong~ why bother le? haha...

oh well~ gloomy mood hit me again~ sigh

PAssport

Recently been hanging out with marriage guys... my colleagues~ as usual, they surely proudly talk bout how other sexy girls look like etc etc... but one thing that i notice is that they all have one similar thing in each topic - talk bout their wife and kids (for those who have kids la)

they will play badminton in most evening... funny is that only can do so once a week... because they need get  "passport" from their wife... eventhough it sound like their wife controlling them.. but it seems that they kinda enjoy it~ some how, when two person in love... they will tolerant in most cases/ times...

specially weekends, they always reject most projects and things because their wife want them to be around accompany them take care of kids, shopping and hang around~ i think the effort of arranging times together after long working days during weekdays are just sweet...
and most of them will always be late coming to office.. at least once aweek~ because they wish spend little time with their wife.. breakfast, send them off to work seems like is part of their hobbies as well~ ^^

im lucky to know that there are some "good" husband around still~ cant deny my jealousy super high, and when i start to feel unsecure i can really start "tie up/ control" someone~ but some how... if from beginnning he willing do something to make me secure... i guess he can easily access my passport in hanging out with his buddies just like my other colleagues~ oh well~

Experiences

Few days ago chatting with a friend, we talk bout our working experiences.. Seriously, i feel quite proud, my working experience really wide.. today, this is the tenth company that im working with~ hahaha.. o ya~ i include my part time experiences...

when i just finish my secondary school, i worked with my ex principle, as Part time PC fair promoter.. then in same time i also work in his shop... after that, i continue further my form 6...
during form 6 school break, i ever become daycare teacher. .. nanny actually as the kids start from age 2 till 6 only... surprisingly i manage to bare with those kids.. act, as long i dont understand their language (which is ee wuu ahah) i think i quite like kids... hahaha
then, i start involve in teaching, tuition teacher~ hmm... this is the time when i notice i start dislike kids~!

ok.. after graduate from form 6, while waiting for the result whether i can enter uni or not, i become receptionist in one of the local slimming company~ haha... this is the time where i start know reality... oh well...
so this already my forth company.. (pc shop - day care - tuition center - slimming center)
once my result is out, i quit and continue my study... hmm.. then i work in a property company as a trainee... then after i graduate from uni i become tuition teacher once again while waiting my penang job application... ( so it's my no.6 company d)

then im lucky enough, i got accepted to work in a international company located in Penang as planner a.k.a administrative work...
due to some personal matter, i had to quit the job and return kuching again... when i return... frankly speaking... after eat big prawn you wont like shrimp~ so i further my study to master level ... in between i return to work as part time tuition teacher as well which end up i help my "friend" in managing her tuition centre.. >.< (so this is my no.8 company)... and in between as well, i become part time tutor in Segi College ( no.9)

i tell myself, before i kill kids, i better leave... then i got lucky, accepted by my supervisor as part time research assistant ( no.10)... and after contract finish, i found my current job in banking line (ops... it's my no.11)

ahaha... found that my life really interesting~ and i wish let the reader know one thing... there are no specific narrow scope in our life... utilize the knowledge and experiences~ and it actually applicable in any field~ as long believe in yourself, always empty the cup~ and enjoy every moment in life~ ^^

PAIN~!!!!!!!

each time i do this, i keep wondering why i still continue do so~! it is pain~ yet i give them permission do so~! even praise them and say it is for my own good~ when ever it happen, i will squeeze my hand to bare the pain~ i even try my best look for a way to enjoy this pain each month~ i even ask them call me to remind me~ after those suffer~ i always feel happy as i feel "clean"~

Oh facial~!! why are you so pain ~~ >.<

MAturity

today my head.. (my superior) just say that im more matured compare to another two colleague~ hahaha... this is not the first time i heard from my superior... i treat it as compliment la~

sometimes its not that i am matured... some how i think im so childish~ haha... just that times pass, age increase... slowly i become more lazy.. lazy argue, lazy bother, lazy think of more trick... slowly i prefer alone... do own things... enjoy being me~ slowly im keep myself away from people and things...

i used to love to join friends & colleague to gossip etc... but now, i wonder why want gossip... how will i feel if one day im their topic... worst.. i dont even bother if im the topic~ hahaha... meaning to say im so attractive that they want me be in their conversation~ :D

is this maturity? hmm.. wondering~ :D

another reason for moody

sian sian~~~ haze is everywhere... but whenever i want complain, knowing the situation in West Malaysia... i feel grateful... hmm... this is not the first time where the result of open burning in Indonesia spread to Malaysia~ yet, there are not further law enforcement to overcome this case all this while.. for me, no matter what they say now, it is bit too late~ come on~ take action before things happen~! learn from the previous lesson instead pointing fingers when things get worst~ sigh~

really easily moody... some more now im in sales line, need be outside most of the time.. try my best to minimized my movement~ haha... even when im sitting still at home, i can still sweat... have chicken rice also can cause my whole shirt wet~ i try console myself saying that this is due to my good metabolism la~ hahahahaha

anyways~ drink more water, take more bath and smile more~ hehe~ love the earth~ since we understand the impact now~ la la la

Wife

today went to visit my lecturer a.k.a my supervisor in my master a.k.a PRof Ernest in hospital~ he always say will vomit blood when mark student exam paper, he really vomited blood due to tummy ulcer~ SIGH~ so went to visit him as he is also one of the lecturer that i very respect during uni time and now~ went there at wrong time, lucky enough the guard allow me in for less than 30min.. reach there saw his wife... never saw her before, but always heard bout her since Prof always mention about her during class, as well showing how great she is through FB... very touching actually (im not being happy over people suffer) coz see how his wife take good care of him... when she tell me the details of her condition... was quite shock, and all i can say is pray more to him, hope he will recover soon and back to uni and FB again~ :)

after that, went to busy body help comment for my friend wedding dress picking moment~ hehe... so happy see two of them sweetly choose the dress together, eventhough most of time i make noise la~ hahaha...

what i notice is... it is very sweet in both of this case... even though one is currently not healthy and one is happy... but for me... i saw the power of love and the strength as a woman~

when met, both definitely stranger... then know each other, and fell in love with each other... im not sure guy side la~ but a lady myself... it take a big strength to give a guy your full trust to say "yes" to become their GF, then wife... a woman will need adapt into new stranger life for the sake of love, then give their whole life to the guy (some quite unlucky, some are lucky).. all this is like a gamble...

once tie up the knock, from my prof case, i learn that, a wife will never leave their husband no matter what.. oh ya~ did i mention that she dint sleep whole night because he cant breath and suffer whole night due to weather? she need ensure everything fine till next day~ most of us din know, coz she was so friendly and keep on smilling when i'm there... but with my past experience, i do know that it is super tired to take care of patient, specially overnight type~ oh well~ as for my friend... i was so glad that the guy really love her so well... can see that when she wear the dress, the guy was so "touched" and want the best for her~ ah~~

it's a hot weather... but i don mind my heart warmed by these situation~ love is in the air~~

Time

a friend's bday fall on today... a friend leave us today~

normally i will tell people what i want for my coming bday because i give hope to myself... but when i see friends leaving one by one because their times is up... everyday i rather glad that im awake and have another chance for everything...

sometimes it is better live life to the fullest~ because only then we appreciate times that given by Him~ at least, we are not just wasting time in "waiting" that time to come~ : ) for me, i rather colour the white cloth instead let it plain without anything~ :D

i still love him and wait for him... even though he ask me not to wait for him... actually i wish tell him... i also cant promise i can wait forever... because sometimes, it is not me that not willing or give up on waiting... there are just too much uncertain in this world... : ) even though this is what i say to most friend... but whenever i see another friend leaving... that emo~ sigh~oh well~ this is just cycle of life~ end it will regrets or end it proudly~

Purpose

just join new company~ so far so interesting... firstly or coz is towards the field and the nature of my work~ can meet a lot of interesting people... Yeah~ im one of the merchant sales executive in Public Bank now~ *(pss.. who need credit card machine, drop me msg :P)

second is towards my colleagues...

feel funny towards people with sales background.. for me, my focus is do sales... so far la~ haha
some of my young colleague, their target is to find new partner~ since we will expose to lots business person and potential gold turtle... mean while some are already attached... with ring on their finger it tells everything... as for my senior... since im a lady following him, whenever a person tease him, he always show his fingers (not middle but the forth one) telling people how much he loves his wife~ how many sales person can really be honest with their status that they have GF or wife, and remain physically and mentally loyal? :) oh well~

with all those different situation, different surrounding and different people exposed to them, can really tell how a person behave, decide, insist and plan their journey...

Change

in KL training now~ hmm.. traveling really helps to improve and influence someone outlook, independence level and confidence as well...

since graduated, im lucky to have the opportunity travel around west malaysia from time to times, and maybe lots people dint know, i cant fly so often is because those place that i went are places where i can have free accommodation~ hahaha..

today before leave, have short chit chat with my manager, he told me that first time when he saw me, he dint know i was from Sarawak... hahaha... bcoz most of the representative from sarawak not as confident as me... maybe all this while, east malaysian have the concept that west malaysia more upper level as in west malaysia there are more branded store, people here more ambitions, aggressive and don smile as much as people in east malaysia...

hmm~ also not sure whether this is a good news or what... getting older, i wish be more simple and humble and remain my identity as sarawakian~ in other way~ i also wish be more daring try new things and accept challenges as people in west malaysia~ hmm~ oh well~

Innocent

heard a song name "mei na me jian dan"... the lyrics really meaningful.. one of the sentence actually hit the point in my heart...

then best part in relationship is when both still very innocent... nothing to concern, just simply use the heart to love~ when happy laugh, when sad sleep... no argument, just simply spend time with other and enjoy each other accompany... how i wish life can be so simple~

but real life is different, need to think before talk, need look around before act, need be careful all the time because arrow and knife is flying invisibly... hmm...

i wish i can be me, act without thinking, talk without hesitating, trust without worry, and love without boundary~

Best Arrangement

hehe~ today really happy~ i always believe that everything arrange for best reason...

so currently as mention before, i will be in 3 responsibility~ so far so good (crossing finger)

MY master first phase just send to my supervisor~ she checking it and will outstation for a week... once return things will move on ( I WANT GRADUATE THIS YEAR~!!!!)..

next week going to KL for my new job training... so i plan treat it as my short break and spend more time for myself~ (yes, i'm gonna lock my self and fully enjoy the hotel facilities...) ... is my anti social behaviour getting worst???..

eventhough currently my craft business not so well.. but im enjoying the "slow" business, at least i wont be too busy, and i can still slowly do more research, improve my skill and play mix and match more~

hahaha.... yesh~ im always so optimist~ life so short, why la i want waste it on being so negative~ haha... let me share some of my products here as well la~ hahaha

Fully occupied

I always wonder why some of my friend will tell me they are bored... most of the time, i enjoy staying at home and do things... my schedule mostly fully occupied d and i mostly will reject meeting some friends... perhaps it was because now i'm rushing my master writing, and time to time i will create more craft for my new online business, even though haven have lots customer, but i enjoy creating new one...

long long time ago, i told someone that i am not a person that like to stood there waiting my time pass, i will appreciate every moment i have, because we never know what will happen next.. just like now, i can take a short break to type few words in my blog... hehe... then in future if i'm free i can return and read it~ haha...

i think im always the type of person always on the "run"... during my teenage time, i don even have opportunity to surf internet... those days i spend my time in reading books, do house chores... ah~ this proven i am an anti social person i guess~ LOL... now~ with the internet around.. there are more things coming up~ hmm.. i hope my dream will come true... work from home and in the same time i can go anywhere at anytime with the love one~ oh yeah~

ok.. times up.. continue writing.. >.< I MUST GRADUATE THIS YEAR~!!!!! yawn~~

Hey June~

June is coming.. lots great things coming in during june~ hehe... am so exciting bout it~ now must grab every chance I have to improve and to enjoy~ never say never or no~ oh yeah

my new online business is on d.. even though currently not much customer, but at least i give it a kick start d~ hehe... come support me~ haha.. i welcome comments for further improvement~ (as all the products i'm making now are own "taste"~ hahaha) click here --> JasCraft

 in same time, i just get myself new job, become public bank merchant sales person~ it should be great~ eventhough i'm a marketing student, until today, i never really getting into sales job~ haha~ new great experience and challenges~ yeah~

but now... 3 days before june, i fall sick d... another lesson to learn~ never take own body for granted~ hahahaha...

Oh yeah~ i really enjoy every moment i have now~ huhu

Woman

recently plan to try something new, creating and making bracelet... some how while doing it, i feel that it is really difficult to be a "pretty" woman... even though we always say nature beauty is the best, but we do know that guy is "virtual" person... and besides, for our own enjoyment, we also dress up, make up to impress them, specially the guy that we love (guy really like enjoy beautiful things, we definitely wish we can always be the center of their eye, sad but this is reality~ Sigh~!!!)

while creating those bracelets, suddenly i felt that woman is bit similar like christmas tree~ hehe...

let me help you visualized it~

we always make sure we have nice hair cut - Christmas tree must trim well~
we wear necklace, earrings, bracelet, rings, and anklet - decorations on the Christmas tree
we wear make up - the lighting on christmas tree
we always wan wear nice shoes/heels - presents under the tree
we diet and maintain our body size - christmas tree size must always just nice~

so~ hehe.. lets be a beautiful christmas tree~ haha

Protecting the environment

all this while i don wish complain much, i mean specially when involve with neighbor, after all i still believe in "semangat kejiranan" (the unite of neighborhood).. but my neighbor really cross the line d, and i had do something that i never expect i will do...

my neighbor have this weird hobby, which i think he practice in his village... the whole family love to do open burning, nearly everyday they have something to burn~! everyday evening they will do open burning, previously, i still not so angry as they burn within their compound (backyard) as they need charcoal for their business (sell fried banana)... ever since they stop doing the business and expand their house compound, they move their burning compound, to front of my house... fine~! since we also not walking that little path, we try tolerate and keep the unhappy feel to ourselves~

until yesterday, im not sure what they burn~! till a heavy black smoke enter my house, i was shock, cause me and my dad thought there is fire behind our back path... until i run to the back, and saw my neighbor was doing the open burning again~! i was seriously unhappy and tell him that he this is too over and it is a pollution, specially now "summer" in Malaysia... what pissed me off is he answered me in monotone "ya kah, takla (isit? no la)... and continue burn... my dad stopped me from continuously argue with them (Actually i plan open the door and pour water d).. so since they don understand proper manner which we always practice - tolerance~! i had decide to make report to the nature resource Sarawak.

surprisingly, they are very efficient, this morning they came, and funny part is one of the officer said "huh, they burn at people area? wow"... as we don not want them to know we are the people that make report, so we walk away.. fortunately, today they do open burning.. yes~ fresh air~ hehe...

i think it is obvious im the one make the report and ruin our relationship as neighbor, but at least im proud to say that i did my part in protecting the earth~ hehe.. happy.~

Summer

eventhough this is a tropical country... still i can differentiate what is summer, super hot at this moment... trying my best minimize my movement... yet, i still sweat even by just moving my fingers and eyes... His place is winter.. bit envy~ arghh..

went out for just few minutes (which most of the time drive, and in mall) i get sunburn d~!!! no wonder im so dark.. another reason to blame.. wakakakaka....

must drink more waters, boil more cooling drinks.. and apply lots lotion and sunblock~~ oh~ when will this "summer" end... sweat sweat...

Quarter of 2013

it's already the Quarter of 2013... i still can recall i was just spending time with my family at langkawi during CNY trip, and met him for wonderful trip... times really pass by so fast

just reread my 2013 resolution... foresee most of ticks will be given.. hehe.. happy.. but cant take things for granted... i must assure all the tick is firm first.. haha.. im a aggressive and energetic person.. due to some of my friends went meet God earlier... its a calling for me... i must speed up... so now... i must build a permanent and strong basement for my next journey~

bit tired... stress.. worry... but i believe all these will be great challenges for my coming plan~~ hehehehe...

Who am I?

during interview, i hate this question most "please introduce yourself". so normally i just tell them what they like to hear - my personality, my working experience, my education background and my future plan (which you wish to hear - benefit your company)

i actually dont even know who am i, besides the name given by my parents.
im still discovering myself... staying alive for 27 years, i dont expect to be the same all the time, and there also a lot of things that im not sure whether i can face, cant face, expect, interest, not interest and etc...

people always say that i change alot, im not, im just being flexible.. i want to be like water... i can adapt into any shape of container (environment)... if i was stuck there... i want to be steam and become cloud... then find new place, come down as rain and become water and adapt to new container again...

life is so short, how long will it be 80years of episode maybe (if im lucky)? i dont expect i will always be in childhood drama, once awhile i want be in love drama, comedy, adventurers.. .. erm... not horror la~ >.<

so, i rather introduce my self with topic "how do you do and what is your plan" instead those "please introduce yourself"... if i know myself so well.. i guess life will be too boring d~ hahaha....

comfort zone

saw a friend post bout her childhood as a teacher's daughter in FB... really reminded me of my own version... neh~ i wont tell a story bout it here...

what I wish to share is that, im proud to say im given chance to enjoy and experience more compared to friends at my age... even now, at my age of 27, i already need to face that at least 4 of my friends went to meet God d... sigh~ life really fragile... so this had make me decide to try more new things (no, im not adventurous... just wan try things outside the box)..

he always tell me not to rely on other people emotionally and physically... but sometimes, im really so weak and only wish for a shoulder to lay on~thats why... my final dream is just as simple as - have a super simple life, as long im with the one i love, and of coz he must love me as well... :D no need to save the world... just spend time with each other, shopping, traveling, do gym together... reading together... cook for him, and seeing him enjoy (or pretend to enjoy) the food i cook for him... then when midnight i open my eye, i can see him is still beside me...

but sometimes, simple things is the most difficult things to get as well~

Malaysia politics' schema

who doesnt proud to be Malaysian? I am, honestly... Malaysia is a country that is rich with nature, culture and peace... the citizens here have high tolerance level (which country have nearly 30 or more ethnic living together without fighting? ) specially in Sarawak... we respect each others religions (not to those idiot who critic people religions - yes i don mean those that thought themselves super holistic while other people's religions is superstitious) ,ethic and race...

but the things that i am ashamed of being part of malaysia is when people start to mention about our politics, corruptions and the attitude (not all but most).

recently it is election season... everyone know that the certain "parties" will eventually start to bribe us differently in order to get the vote... one of the obvious definately is repairing the road... which is so rubbish for me as they just pour and cover the damage with a new layer or tar... after a month (not even after the election) ta da... the road's "pimple scar" grown back... come on... malaysia is famous with their pimple scar road condition d... can just at least prepare better road for the driver? or is this strategy to boost  up the mechanic business? hmm... maybe hor~

ok... it is normal for the politicians organize campaign, talk to have better vote... but can please learn from develop countries' leader? tell us your plan in helping the citizens, tell us your plan to improve, share with us your vision and mission~! instead, they are pointing fingers in criticizing their competitors, how they din do their work properly (and did you do your part from the beginning?) spread their scandals matter, sex scandals ( i doubt you are clean as well anyway)... maybe is my family culture in learning, we were thought not to bother people matter, not to judge people and not to point finger to others, just do your part, and be honest and sincere...

i also wonder, how much will it cost to do a flag? i saw it along all the road... first- it is annoying~!!!!! because im looking at my money, people's tax hanging around~!!!!!! shit~! and second - it is dangerous for drivers~!!! we cant see the road ok~!!!! ish~!!!

i honestly feel sad when i see all those post in FB, news, and pamphlet... why must lie? we are no longer those generations where we listen and we believe... can please stop think of yourselves? earning "extra" is no longer a secret... it is an open secret... we just hope that you will at least do something while enjoying the "benefit" is that too much? sigh~ oh well... human... lets see whats the result next week :)

hmm... will i get trouble posting this in my blog? oh well~ im just a citizen that wish voice out my opinion.. hahaha...

The Croods

watch this anime with sis~ super like~ this a very heart warming, sweet and simple movie~ definitely stress free movie~ ^^ to be frank, when im still little girl (around age of 9) i wish live in such simple life... ya~ i know im weird... i even ask my dad if we can move to stay in cave... and my dad allow me do so, by asking me lock my self in room >.<

its about a family with a super protective dad... bla bla bla... go watch it please~ hahahahaha

a very touching movie, causing me shed alot of tears.. and distract my sis from watching it because she looking at me crying instead (and she wonder why she dint feel a thing... me got prob or her.. wondering as well)

the father in the movie sound just like my dad, sporting yet very protective... and the guy in the movie also does sound like the guy i like, a guy that have dream, protective as well in his way and definitely ahem... hehehe

most touching part, there are no animals left behind in the end of the story~ haha~ and i like the "Belt" most~ he is too smart than his owner! muahahah...

suitable for any age audiences~ hehehe~

Johor trip

went to Johor for conference, in the same time go visit my sis~ hehe...

WAhaha... all this while i go jb to meet my sis and him (before he left msia :P) however, last week, i've been given opportunity to be one of the participant in a conference organised by UTM. As UTM is far...far... from my sis house, and plus it is sponsored trip, so i able to enjoy stay in hotel~ even though it wasnt 5 stars hotel... i manage book a nice boutique hotel - Jhotel, located near sutera mall~

super convenient as that place was surrounded by lots of shops, and coffee shop.. and most important... i enjoy the stay in the hotel~ it is just simple, nice and most important CLEAN~!!!!

here are some of the pic i manage to take~ :D

the bed~ queen size~

 the most important place - washroom

 little space for cloths and table- no fridge

 the lobby

so after all... i do enjoy the stay...

so as usual.. after that, for sure i meet up with sis and do the usual thing - HUNT FOR FOODS... HAHAHAHA

this is my fav - CREPE CAKE~~~~ yes, eventhough kch have it as well.. but the taste just so different...

 then my sis bring me to a exp cafe for breakie...

 this little thing cost RM6~!!!! not worth~!

 then we went to japanese restaurant~
salmon porridge

 taufu~ not worth the price as well

 bit like our local wo die~ still ok

so last but not least... i become round when return kch... hahahahaha

yeah~ i love travel~ hahaha... wish one day i can effort travel further place.. perhaps oversea? :D

all coming back to me

ever have the feeling when all the old memories that supposed to be put behind the brain suddenly pop and rush to the front... and lots flash back till tears flowing?? sigh~ today it happens again... i blame on my buddy who ask me read long long chinese sweet article...

all these done by him before... he once put me as the top in his life, he make me his everything by giving me his everything...

my lips allergy to crab shell... thats why most of the time i don really eat it in public in order not to scared people with my sausage lips... sound disgusting... but he always use hand and peel the meat for me~ (ya, i know, his hand is full of his saliva because he use hand enjoy the crab)

he always hug me and push me to his armpit~ hahaha~ ya.. thats how we play with each other... he is strong man... if he really use his energy i think long time ago i haveg my armpit facial treatment d... but we usually end up wrestle and laugh out loud~

he always wish be gentleman... wan to hold umbrella... but most of the time... both of us end up wet as well... >.<

it is sweet to remember all this... but it is pain because it was too sweet and its gone d~

sigh~ so below are the article that caused all this : )

有人说，谈恋爱的时候男友对女友的疼爱程度会随着结婚慢慢减少，到底这是不是事实呢？看看下面这些，是一个女孩儿写的婚后感言，写的真的很真实，看完我失眠了！

1、一夜，睡在老公身边，香香地做着美梦。老公不知怎了，“呼”地一下坐起来，我立刻被他吓醒，还没来得及问他怎么了，被窝里便伸过一双手来，摸到我还在，他便长长呼了一口气，重新躺倒，很快又听到鼾声。我在这个男人身边待了12年，很多事情都顺理成章地成了左手牵右手的平淡.那些最初的小感情、小悸动和小情绪，我们很久都没有了。这一夜屋外飘着薄凉的春雨、屋内暖暖的夜晚，忽然地，便想起了他很多很多的好。结婚10年，再相爱，激情和感动也被时间磨得体无完肤，但这一刻我忽然觉得，他比想象中爱我。
...
　　

　　2、一入冬，我便总是手脚冰凉，他晚上的习惯性动作便是把我的手放到他的腋窝下，整个人像个肉团一样被他搂在怀里。怕冰到他，我便会很不情愿地待一会儿，想趁他不注意再悄悄地抽出来。他发觉了，每次都是再霸道地夹紧，不容拒绝的力气和温暖。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　3、每次出门游玩，人多的时候，他总会把我圈在他身边，胳膊始终是半张的姿势，以确保身边的人不会挤到我。有了儿子后，右臂里是我，左臂会把儿子抱在胸前，有他在，在任何地方都会觉得安稳与妥帖。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　4、有次他出差，晚上给我打电话，一直说了一两个小时，琐琐碎碎，第一次觉得他好唠叨。回来后才告诉我，同住的人打电话知道家里天气不好，打雷打得厉害，他担心我会害怕，于是打电话陪我说话，转移我的注意力。问他，为什么不直接告诉我别害怕。他说，要是本来没害怕，这一问反倒害怕了呢？我的心里软得像一汪水，要怎样的爱，才能做得这样周全与细腻。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　5、锅碗瓢盆的日子，总会有架吵。每次吵架，只要到白热化的程度，他都第一时间跑到门口，占据位置，以确保我不会气急败坏地跑出家门。吵得最厉害的一次，我口不择言，自己都觉得狠狠地伤了他的心。他搬着自己的枕头跑去客厅睡，我正纠结着要怎么去道歉，他却跑回来，表情还是恨恨的，人却睡在我身边。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　6、这样的情感，总让我们不习惯太长时间的分离。他出差，原本是一周的时间，第五天便处理完事情早早跑回家来。敲门声再熟悉不过，我激动地打开门，挨了他劈头盖脸的一顿训：“也不问问是谁就开门，万一是坏人呢。”我撅着嘴巴满心的委屈。再看他拉得像长白山一样的脸，真恨不得揍他一顿。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　7、最近，最热衷的事情就是问他，是不是还如当初那么爱我？他大多时候都给个睥睨的眼神，心情好时才会赏一句“你说呢？”于是总感叹岁月的无情、围城的磨砺，偶尔会怀念恋爱时的卿卿我我，却忘了他给过的这么多好。忘记了他每次出差早上7点准时发来的起床短信，忘记他每次有事送我上出租车时，总会第一时间记住车号，忘记我剐蹭了车，粗心大意做错了事，他问的第一句话总是“你有没有伤到”……那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　8、就是刚刚，我在写这篇文章，他窝在沙发上看电视，嗑瓜子。十几分钟的时间，他把手摊过来，手心里都是剥好的瓜子肉，我感动地看他，那边还是一脸不耐烦，嫌我接瓜子的速度慢。那一刻我会觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

　　

　　9、想起来这么多年，无论是日子艰难的最初还是稍稍宽裕的现在，我喜欢的东西，他都是想了办法买给我，从来没有一次不舍得。其实用钱衡量这样的感情很俗，但是很真实。我把这个感慨向身边的男人大发了一通，对方直视着我的眼睛，说：“你又想要什么了，直说吧。”这一刻我仍然觉得，原来他比想象中爱我。

编后语：看着这篇文章，心里的羡慕与向往隐藏不住……其实,一个女人想要的也就是这样了吧！不图荣华富贵，不图安逸享乐,只愿身边的那个人可以这样,细微却真心的,无私又真诚的呵护着我,珍惜着我，一起面对困难又如何一起经历困苦又如何,只要你给了我这个信心让我相信可以去依靠一辈子,我又还会怕什么呢！
 

Money

Money is everything...

it is an angel
it is also a devil

when you have money,
- you can enjoy better life
- you can do charity and help more people
- you can have better options
- you dont have to worry much
- you can go every where you want
- you have lots similar friends
- you can eat whatever you like
- people around you also can enjoy all the things you enjoy above

when you have no money
- you know how to be independent
- you will know who is your real friend (and you shall appreciate such friend~!)
- you will understand what is true love (family, friends, and lover)
- you will be more appreciative
- you will always show gratitude
- you will give more (people always say, people who give more is because they know how it feel of having nothing)
- you will enjoy things that money cant buy - love specially
- you will be creative and always seek for alternatives (specially people who need cook under budget)

whether its an angel or devil, the decisions always on our hand :D

Permission

did you ever experience the feel, when you like someone, whatever they say, ask or do you will also support and will always entertain them?

oppositely, when you dislike someone, everything they do it is just so
ANNOYING~!!!!!!! and will keep wondering why they do this and that...

whereas it is actually the same thing~ hahaha...

for me, this is how we judge a person, and give them permission be silly or be distance with us...

a little story that i heard few times...

a friend came to our house (not so familiar one), sit on our sofa, complain the sofa too dark shall change to brighter colour, ( we start feel annoyed, because that person doubt our taste), then the friend continue walk to our room, say the position of the bed not good, will cause accident (!@#$, we like then good la) lastly, say the house paint colour so ugly and shall repaint (we kick that friend out d because we think he/ she cross the line d)

similar case, we spend RM3000 to a feng shui master because we heard about him from lots tv show... he enter the house with a compass on hand... hmm, sofa too dark, not good not good (we nod, and say true true, must change), then to the bedroom, he continue, the bed position no good, bad for person sleep on it must change to face the north (we start to think, no wonder recently feel no so well, hmm...) then he look around and say, your option or paint colour really not good and terrible shall paint to green (hmm, true true, green is nature = everything is natural...) then we paid that person, do whatever thing he ask us to do and feel so happy and glad that he came over..

so, it is obviously the trust we give, and the permission we gave to someone that allow us to follow, and support whatever thing they mention... after all, we just human... we have feelings and love to do judgement... hahaha...

GRumpy day

OMG~!!!! why test my patient???? goodness~!!!!!

i am kuching lang~ im proud to tell everyone, yes im from kuching... BUT~~~~~ i really don have kuching ppl's patient... below are the few scenario that made me curse...

1. PLEASE DONT WALK AND STOP HALF WAY SPECIALLY IN MALL
- all these people are just so cute.. yes, it will cause accident k??? specially for people like me who walk very fast... sigh~ those people can just walk then suddenly stop either to chat, to see things around and sometimes i have no idea what they are thinking as well... stand at a side la to do all these things~!!!!!!!!

2. PLEASE LOOK LEFT, RIGHT AND BEHIND BEFORE DRIVE
- a SMART lady can just reverse her car without looking behind... and i already horn her to tell her "HALO~!!!! IM BEHIND YOU~!!!!" and she can still reverse till i need drive to side in order to avoid my car kissed by her stupid cat butt~! as usual la... with my temper, i drive to her side and show my hand (not middle finger, don worry) yet she dont dare look at me~ (am i too samseng?? >.<)

3. PLEASE TRAIN YOUR STAFF~!!!!
-i seriously cant stand those staff in shopping mall and supermarket~! please la~! provide good customer service if you want earn our money~! whenever i ask them for information, all i get is "sik tau la" (dont know)~ then what the hell are you doing there???? looking for solution to please me the customer la~!!! aiyoyoy~!!! some even worst, if dont know, dont give stupid opinion, worst is u can ask others la~!!!!!! exp that directly pissed me off - i want buy running shoe, i already mention i want "running shoe" not cross train etc... and the sales person dare to tell me "all shoes are the same, just design diffrerent" GOODNESS~!!! can please make effort read the shoe label??? you thought the company put the label to make it more complicated????? >.<

4.  PLEASE DONT STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD FOR CHATTING
- come one la dude, i know sometimes we might bump to person that we had long lost contact~ but please la~!!! YOU DON OWN THE ROAD~! each time i need to say "excuse me" worst, they saw me walking and obviously i need pass by, and yet..... perhaps they think im so slim that i can pass through~! sigh

5. PLEASE CONCENTRATE AND WALK, IF NOT PLEASE WALK AT SIDE
- i have phone as well, i play FB and do SMS as well~!!! but when i know i will walk slower i will walk at the side~! not in the middle of the road ~~~!!!! i need make some noise "ahem" or walk louder (when im in my high heel) and YET THEY NEVER NOTICE~!!!!!!! then when they notice they have the look at me "you so annoying, cant you see im playing my phone"

GRRRR~!!!! is it me or what???? sigh~!!!!!

Dreams

there are various type of dream- sweet dream, day dream, wet dream,life dream... etc

since im little girl i love to dream, from day dream to night dream... hehe... most of the time my creativity are actually come from my dream... for me, dream land is the best place, no one can judge you and no one can give a guideline of what is dream... of course as long we able pull ourselves back to real world when awake...

usually i like my sweet wet dream (must EMPHASIZE not the 18sx wet dream k) as it always bring me meet my prince charming... hahaha... normally when awake i wish i can continue sleep again so that i can meet him longer~ hahahaha... *slurp.. and this type of dream normally just will make my day and keep me smiling whole day~ muahahaha

i think sometimes my dream are so real.. example, recently my friend getting married soon, she is someone that are very fussy (not even sure im lucky or what been selected as her bridesmaid :P) so a bit stress as im out of idea d.. until i sleep also can get idea... lucky enough she accept it~ but still have long list to go.. and it seems that my dream doesnt want to involve in this wedding game anymore ~sad~

in school day, i always share my dream with my close friend... this become our routine topic, because most of my dream are so ermm... i call it as inspiration la k.. ahaha... and this help me become a good story teller as well... but... the funny thing is, why some of my friend never remember or have dream? hmm...

Concern VS busybody

most of the time, we tend to give people privacy and sometimes we instead cross their privacy line... recently i notice, im actually not a very nice friend... i dont really bother what they do and what is their current situation unless they keep telling the world through facebook... in apposite way, sometimes i cross my line in caring and update my self towards "certain" person latest update~ perhaps this is the choice we made... we can choose not to bother... or we can choose to cant not bother

i seriously don like ask around people stuff... i believe everything they do must have their own reaon (whether i can accept or not another story la)... i used to apply same thing to someone... i remember that someone complain im not concerning enough... then i change and be more concern... up to date in everything that person do... then end up that person complain i make that person cant breath... sigh~ so i think im just not the type of person know what is so called "border" lines... hahaha

when we care about someone... even other person tell us its not worth or we shouldnt do so to avoid getting hurt... we will still do it... why? in philosophically, we call this "they are part of our life" in human words - WE ARE STUPID~!!!!

hahaha... ok.. so i think i shall try control myself of over caring as well over not bother~ hahaha... ouch~ life

Stress

within these two months, after so long, i feel quite stress, keep pushing myself to the max... i must grad before july, if possible send a copy of my thesis to Mybrain, earn the 3k.. even though this is my second year of master, honestly, i feel that i just started~ what am i doing for the past year??? hahaha... anyways, hope i wasnt too late.. after grad, plan leave Msia, move to some place new... Aus? Singapore? Denmark? wondering still...

looking for info... hope get something.. suddenly pushing myself so much~ lost 2kgs, hahaha... its been awhile i never been stress d... hahahaha... perhaps its good also... distract me off from emotional worries~

hmm~ fighting~!!!! must finish my work~! AJA AJA~!!!!!

Volunteer

today went to SSPCA(Sarawak Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) be a volunteer... ya~ i go because i had promise the manager i will go at least once before he leave... i owez try my best keep my promises. :D 

not as what most of us think.. go there play with dogs and cats then bye bye..

went there early in the morning and im late because unable wake on time haha...reach there around 830am with my buddy - Stella... the task of the day? clean the shit~ hahaha... yes.. clean the shit... poo.. dung... what ever you want to call it... 

using a pipe splashing and cleaning cage by cage... while Stella will sweep of the floor... others busy changing the newspaper, refill the food and drinks... while the manager is in the clinic helping those in chronic conditions little one... it seems easy, but honestly it wasnt easy at all.. specially emotionally.. i honestly admit, i cant stand the job at all... just a few hours, heart ache... how can people harm those innocent cats? some is one side blinded because people dig out it's eye, some leg cant function because accident, worst, stupid people use rubber band tie it up and cause the blood stream block... etc... 

for those who always complain SSPCA staffs being grumpy and rude, please go SSPCA be a volunteer for at least a day~ try to live in their situation at least once~ then will understand why they being rude specially when people sending their old pets for abundance~ step into their shoe before speak~ i think that is most useful sometimes~ hmm

i always tell people i prefer help animals instead people... main reason is animals never HARM human... most of the time they attack for the sake of protecting themselves... for those cases where the dogs bite... did they ever mention how they treated the dogs since little? animals always innocent... if they gone crazy, most of the time is due to long term mental abuse... just like the case in west malaysia where 7 dogs eaten their owner... the actual reason is because the stupid owner had lock them up and dint provide any foods for a week.. if human, i think we also will eat that person for the sake to survive...

please protect the animals~ their life spam definitely shorter than us, but their needs towards love will never less than us~ give them love, they will give you their all~  you can have lots of pets in your lifetime... but they only wish have you alone as owner in their life time~