Sad as the relationship of 4 years had ended last month… it was a very very down moment during the past 2 weeks… washing my face with tears almost every night… had super low esteem… yet I still need to control my emotion around my friends and families… currently slowly standing up~ hmm… really need to thanks him over these 4 years… even though at the end of this relationship we quarrel a lot and worst we are walking to the down hills of this relationship without noticing it (or we deny and covering it too well)… at the end, he call off for it… I'm glad that he help to change my life into healthier life.. and I become more independent after being with him as we are in long distance relationship all this while… :D
So… just read an article from CLEO… hmm… had this inspiration to write my feelings, my thought and changes I wish to do after this relationship in my blog (that I had neglected too long ;p )
Things I need to change after this relationship failure
- Self control towards my emotion – I cant deny, Im a blunt person… I talk without twisting my words, and worst, I don't really think and analyze when im angry or up sad… which is one of the weapon that killed this relationship. Really need to learn to have better self control… breathing I heard is one of the best way.. :D
- My jealousy – im the youngest daughter in my family… I get what I want most of the time… most of the time I will strictly secure the things I want… eventually, maybe I lost security feel… my jealous increase and I started to control and sabotage his life… so guess that I need to learn be confident with myself, confident and trust people around me and not to blindly jealous over everything.. hmph~!
- Being appreciative – after this breaking up… there is some good side I found from my self… I always appreciate every little things he had done… I had did my best to protect and appreciate this relationship as much as I can~ ^^ and to my surprise, I still have a lot of friends who always backup me… when they heard bout this incident (of course they will ask the reason, mumbling awhile) they really concern bout me… all my friends are unique, they don't really like consult me with some traditional advise instead they advise me – good, now you have time with us, thanks him for letting you have this experience of breaking up ( when I heard this I was like WTH~!! But it quite true la~ sigh) and they already started plan single ladies program with me.. hahahaha
- Spend more time to myself – now im alone is most things, previously everything I do or plan I will include him in it… now I do and plan things for myself… so take this opportunity to do something that I never did before – take dancing class, yoga, learn new language, thinking of France hehehe… and spend time in knowing myself more through reading more motivation books, and of coz learn the mistake that I had done in this relationship and improve it thought reading and listen to other friends sharing~ J
- Appreciate your partner – don't let him/ her alone do all the maintenance… appreciate it and celebrate all occasions together make it her bday, anniversary, Christmas you name it~
- Communicate more, listen more, don't keep everything to yourselves – most of the time we expect our couple understand us since we already been together for so long… honestly, people do change, and most of the time it will change the way they handle their emotional, thoughts and living style as well… keep updated through communication
- Have same goals, same value of life and have same objectives in life – specially for long distance relationship, at the beginning we both are very loving, because we targeting the same thing – be together after I graduate… gradually, after that we lost firm objectives, or shall I say we dint share each other objectives and link it together? Sigh~ im not sure as well…
- don't be stingy in romance – romance through words and actions of coz… I heard from a friend where her husband told her once "why need celebrate bday? It happen each year" sigh~ this really kills a woman heart… woman love to listen sweet talks, just as how you tell her when u court her previously.. hug him/her whenever there is a chance… this is a body language that actually support each others' emotionally… say the 3 magic words: " I LOVE YOU" everyday… not only will it let your couple feel loved it also reminded you that how much you love him/her
- dont let the arguments "overnight", specially when both of your ego are very high~ trust me, EGO KILLS RELATIONSHIP~!!! sigh~ and not least, hold each other's hand… I really love to see the old couples who still hold each other hand when they walking together… J I always believe that "touch" can always link each other heart… J
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